More Cup Space

You’d think with there being so many cars in the world, customization would be more of a big deal. Like, you can get custom anything else, but when it comes to a vehicle? Please pay us two-squillion dollars, and then we might be able to talk. All I really want is an extra cup holder sticking out of the dash, for when I’m driving and I need to perform quick tasks and I need to place my coffee in a place within my field of vision.

But apparently that’s dangerous and could present a crash hazard. Not that I’m blaming any specific mechanic near Bendigo or anything, because they’re the ones who have to present me with my roadworthy certificate, and that’s a stringent government thing. If I was driving around with cupholders sticking out of my dashboard, welded to the steering wheel, with maybe one that pops out when I flip open the petrol hatch (sometimes I get the caffeine jitters while I’m filling up at a petrol station), then the government would get antsy, they’d ask where I got my super illegal modifications, and then it’d go back to the mechanic and…well, that’d be bad. And do you know how long it takes to find a really reliable car servicing professional? Like…five months. That’s five months of my life that I’d never be getting back.

It’s not just cupholders, either, even though they would be by far the most important thing, even though that is obvious. I would very much appreciate the airbags being activated whenever I clap my hands thrice, so that I can take naps in traffic, for example. Yep, that’s another thing that the good car servicing places in Bendigo would be blamed for introducing to my vehicle if there was a royal inquiry. I’m not bringing down good workmen with me, so I guess I’ll have to do without.

Just…the regular cup-holders, then. I’ll bend my arm awkwardly while overtaking, that’s fine, no worries.