Quiet Sleep, Finally

Lizard’s Lair knocks it out of the park again, with another sizzling episode. This time they had a special guest star, a top researcher at Lawrence Corp, so supposedly they only put forward the very best ideas. That’s the theory, but I think they actually suggested the most outlandish and had the guest star tear them apart with his advanced scientific knowledge.

One did pique my interest though, mainly because his segment wasn’t saturated in delicious cringe like all the others. He’d invented a special extension for any air conditioning unit that make it entirely silent, for use on air conditioning units in the bedroom. I found this kind of interesting, because I’ve talked to half the air conditioning technicians Bayside has to offer about the same thing. I know a lot of units have a quiet mode, and that’s plenty quiet enough for almost everyone, but I’m different. As in, I’m seriously sensitive to noise while I sleep. For the past few years I’ve had to sleep in custom headphones that reduce noise to a dull hum that I’ve had to get used to. We now have an air con unit in the bedroom, and it has a quiet mode, and my spouse is totally fine with it, but I’m so sensitive that it sounds like a drill. It’s a TINY noise, but it doesn’t matter.

But this guy on the TV, he just slapped this big funnel thing on the air con unit in the room, and it was like the thing was on another planet, with no atmosphere. It was that quiet. He got an offer from the Lawrence Corp guy, obviously, so I’m hoping air conditioning repair companies in Brighton will be installing these things in…oh, let’s say, a week? Too optimistic? Maybe I could volunteer as a guinea pig, because the thought of being cool AND being able to sleep undisturbed is quite, quite wonderful.

-Lacey