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Being a Landlubber

Alright, I don’t actually know what I’m doing. I bet I’m now one of those people, the ones that all the other, experienced seafaring folks look down upon, all because I’m here trying not to immediately steer right into the docks when I take off. Meanwhile, they’re basically lying back and steering the boat with …

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Complexities of Moving

So, first you have to tell the ruling bodies that you’d like to move to a place. You then have to pay for the place, and it’s very expensive even in the currency of the land, and then you have to go through other things. We’ve been advised that we need to find a conveyancer …

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The Man-Bag Cometh

Slouch bags are like the happy medium anyway, because they’re much bigger and they hold more than your average, petite handbag. I’m not saying I’m going to get a bright red leather bag and cover it in flowery stickers and fill it with mascara and used tissues. This is still going to be a bag, …

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Heat These Days…

Of course, no air conditioning, in Canberra at all let alone on every bus and schoolroom, because heaven forbid the little children have to learn in anything outside of the optimum temperature. Back when I was very young and going to school, our classrooms all used to be made of aluminium, because it was a …

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Pure Kitchen Perfection

That may not sound grand or adventurous, but kitchens are where magic is made. Food is cooked, tea is brewed, dishes are washed, desserts are sprinkled with little shards of chocolate. It’s the place where life truly happens. And so, I will design the perfect kitchen, perfect in functionality AND style. Doesn’t sound like getting …

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Stress Life

The worst thing you can do in stressful situations is start to panic. You start to panic and then boom, suddenly your problems seem a whole lot worse than they actually are and you feel like the best thing to do is curl up in a ball and cry. That’s totally illogical, but in your …

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Colour Argument

A popular graphic design company in Melbourne has shut down due to an intense argument between employees over the colour of their logo. Caleb Duncan and Tomas Smith are reported to be the two employees involved; both graphic designers, witnesses have reported that the altercation began after the updated company logo, intended to be displayed …

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Shut Up Janelle

Oh my gosh, like Janelle is SO full of it, like you don’t even know the stuff that comes out of her mouth. Most of the time I’m like ‘Janelle, shut UP’ in my head, but I don’t say it because she’s a total baby and she cries at, like anything. Ugh, like, I’m not …

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Bah, Running!

Bah! These so-called ‘trousers’ are foolish inventions! My legs feel so enclosed; why would anyone discard the wonderful garment that is the robe? I feel like I might have raised undue suspicion at work by inquiring as to when people actually wear robes in this society, although I’m pretty sure my colleagues just assumed that …

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My Thatched Existence

Life is a drag. I’m just gonna stop doing it and go and live in the Bahamas. I can get a job selling coconuts, maybe giving guided tours around the island. They’ll be rich folks who’ll be there on holiday, and I’ll secretly laugh at them when they go back home  to a life of …

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