Speak of Aluminium

Aluminium: need it have a point? Of course…aluminium has more points than anything. It’s one of the pointiest materials on the whole planet. You can use it to build spaceships, or toolboxes, or cutlery if you’re really into the idea. As for me, I drive an aluminium car, use aluminium foil for all of my food storage needs, and my aluminium accessories collection takes up most of my garage that isn’t taken up with my car. Outside observers might say that I have an obsession, but I simply appreciate the versatility of this material.  The only disadvantage is that other countries pronounce it wrong, thus causing all of the enthusiasts on this side of the ocean to be constantly correcting them in an eternal war of correction. Sometimes it’s hard, being so right.

I say this, because I’m due to give a keynote speech at our annual Aluminium Appreciation Society gathering, which this year is being held in Melbourne. The big ‘thing’ for this year is tool box central locking for toolboxes; as in, aluminium boxes that hold your toolbox, for an added layer of security. They’re the next big craze, security boxes for your toolboxes, which presumably also have toolbox central locking (who wouldn’t?), but I also want to use the speech to highlight a few problems with our community. For example, Americans and their extremely faulty pronunciation. I mean, really…if you say you’re passionate about a thing, at least pronounce that thing right. But also, there’s a worrying trend of folks switching to plexiglass, or heaven forbid, PLASTIC. I know, the dreaded P-word. Still, we must address this angry, homicidal elephant in the room. People who think that under tray drawers made of plastic will soon be the norm must be gently led back to the realm of sense. They are foolish children, yes, but simply misled. We look after our own, and I hope this speech will convey all of these ideas succinctly.